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Featured Article:

Spanking the woman you love
Finding the right spanking partner.. and keeping her

Spanking the woman you love

August 22, 2012
By The Editor
The Spanking News©

(Continued from page 2)

There are many other ways you can do the preliminary test, so try to use your Spanking the woman you loveimagination and come up with something in your own words that seems natural to you and not scripted.

Just don't be too direct at first. Notice above I said, "You need a good spanking" and not, "I should give you a spanking". Remember, you are speaking in general terms to play it safe at the moment.


Once you have gauged the reaction, you can decide to make that statement a little more direct next time. Just make sure to space out these "tests" and not fire off a dozen of these questions every day or she will probably think spanking is all you care about.


Open communication is key. Once you begin to feel comfortable with your partner, be open and share your thoughts and feelings with her, and in turn she should start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you. If you clam up about everything going on in your life, don't be surprised if she does the same.


This will not help things later on. I've always considered communication the most important thing in a relationship. If you can't communicate with each other effectively, the relationship is doomed to fail.


Lets move ahead now to where you are a little further into the relationship. I realize everyone moves at their own pace, so lets assume you have already had sex, possibly multiple times, at this point. This is the time to introduce spanking.. SLOWLY! I don't want to put a lot of pressure on you right now, but how you approach this could make the difference between success or horrible failure.


Ideally it would be best if you are both talking openly about sexual subjects at this point. She might have told you that she loves it when a man goes down on her, or that she enjoys having her ears nibbled on, breasts licked or gently bitten.. you know, stuff like that. Hell.. she might even tell you she likes to be tied up.


If that's the case, there really shouldn't be any problem with you mentioning Spanking the woman you lovethings that you enjoy, and feel free to list spanking as one of them. Again, when you do this try to check her reaction to make sure you don't see any negative signs.


However, if you are not openly talking about sexual subjects because one or both of you are a little shy, don't worry, just remember the golden rule above.


Take it SLOW!


This is not a time to rush things, because if you do you could potentially turn her off spanking.. and possibly for good. Once a person has had a bad experience with something, they are usually very reluctant to try it again.


I know this will require a lot of restraint for many of you, especially if you have never spanked a woman before, but please listen to me when I say take it slow and easy especially the first couple times. If you really want to play it safe, start off by giving her a few gentle swats during sex.


Doggy style sex is perfect for this. That way your hand coming in contact with her bottom will not be a frightening thing for her. Remember to keep it light at this stage, unless of course she enjoys it and orders you to smack her behind harder! If this happens, great, but try not to go overboard.


When the time feels right to try something a little more like a traditional spanking, instead of a few smacks like we mentioned earlier, use your best judgment and make sure she is comfortable the whole time. You never want her to feel uneasy or scared of the experience.


The first time you try the traditional spanking don't make a big production out of it. It's best if you are both in bed and you gently lay her over your lap. Don't act like a pro and try to set up the famous red, yellow, and green safe words at this point. Just have her tell you if it's too hard or hurts too much.


I can't stress how important it is to not screw this up. If you start spanking her like a maniac you could quickly turn her off spanking forever, and no amount of begging or pleading will make her change her mind.


Remember, whenever in doubt go easy and go slow.


You may notice when you put her over your lap the first time, and subsequent times as well, that she will probably have a big smile or grin on her face. Don't take this as a sign that everything is OK and go ballistic on her behind. Women will often do this when they are a little nervous or embarrassed so it is your job to make sure she is comfortable every step of the way.


It's always better to go easy at first, and let her tell you it's alright to spank a little harder, compared to spanking her too hard and have her tell you to stop. Everyone has a different tolerance to pain, and that's why you are taking it easy right now and finding what her comfort level is. Don't be nervous or afraid. One smack that is too hard will not ruin everything, although many in a row while ignoring her pleas to stop very well could.


Women are not delicate little china dolls like some men think. Most can take way more pain then you ever could. But with that said, just because she can handle the pain doesn't mean she is enjoying herself, and that's why it is really important to keep the first couple spankings on the light side. And as I've said many times already, use your best judgment.


Things could go way faster then what I'm describing, or they could actually go much slower. Remember the main goal is to make sure she is happy and comfortable. Do this and you will most likely be able to spank her again.. and hopefully again again and again!



One other thing definitely worth mentioning is the use of implements, like a Spanking the woman you lovehairbrush, paddle, belt, cane.. you get the idea. Don't use any of them! Again, take it slow. As things progress you can always try to incorporate something new later on as long as you talk to her about it first, and she is OK with it, but don't rush things.


If you go from giving her a light hand spanking one night to six stinging strokes of the cane the next night, you risk blowing everything. Again, once you turn someone off it is very difficult or impossible to turn them back on again.


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